Mental Health Tips for Couples Moving in Together

One of the most high-stake decisions is made when couples move in together. Hollywood has us believing that the happiest day of your life is when you’re driving your new fiance home to meet mom and dad. The first day you live together is picture perfect, with roses strewn across the bedroom floor, candles lit throughout, and a room just big enough for two. This is a reality for some couples moving in together.

For others, this could not be further from the truth!

Reality is a lot messier, especially for two people who are about to cohabit for the first time. In fact, it could be said that cohabitation is one of the most stressful times in any relationship. 

With a new roommate comes new expectations, rules, and regulations you haven’t been privy to before. A common problem often arises when couples move in together is ‘relationship inertia.’ This phenomenon occurs when two people who are generally happy with each other suddenly become discontent as soon as they set up a house together.

It’s not that one of the two is unhappy. The problem is that your expectations are very different from what they had when they were single, and any change in their environment can cause them to regress. 

While this happens to everyone eventually, it’s a lot easier to deal with when you’re prepared for it. So, how do you avoid relationship inertia and ensure that your move-in experience is as positive as possible without going to couples therapy? 

Let’s look at some mental health tips for couples moving in together.

1. Communicate, communicate, communicate

This cannot be stressed enough. Couples who move in often do so without serious conversations about their expectations or what they hope to achieve by living together. As a result, they’re often building their lives together on a foundation of assumptions. And we all know what happens when you assume things…

Have regular check-ins with your partner to ensure that you’re both on the same page. Discuss your expectations for the relationship, your goals for the future, and any concerns about living together. It’s also important to keep the lines of communication open when it comes to day-to-day living. This is one of the most important skill sets you’ll need to make your relationship last. When something is troubling you, do not bottle it up – discuss it with your partner. 

2. Be realistic about your expectations

If you expect your relationship to be like a Hollywood movie, you’re in for a rude awakening. In the real world, relationships are messy, and that’s okay. It’s important to be realistic about your expectations for living together.

For example, you might have always pictured yourself coming home to a candlelit dinner and a foot massage after a long day at work. But in reality, your partner might be too tired to cook or may not even be home when you get back. It’s important to remember that you’re not living in a fairytale and that your partner is not a mind reader. If you have specific needs or expectations, don’t be afraid to voice them.

3. Be prepared for conflict

Even the happiest and most compatible couples will experience conflict at some point. It is part of human nature to disagree with those we are closest to. When you’re living in close quarters with someone, it’s only natural that conflict will arise from time to time.

The key to managing conflict is to remember that it’s normal and to plan how you will deal with it. Agree on some ground rules for arguing, such as no name-calling or personal attacks. Practice active listening and try to see things from your partner’s perspective. And most importantly, remember that conflict is not a sign that your relationship is failing – it’s simply part of the human experience.

4. Be willing to forgive

Moving in with your partner might be the biggest commitment either of you has ever made, but it doesn’t mean that relationships can’t go through rough patches. You might have difficulty forgiving your partner if they make a mistake or say something hurtful. If you don’t feel like forgiving them, your partner might become resentful and give up on trying to work things out. 

Even though forgiving your partner may be difficult, it’s important to remember it’s not always easy for them either. Learn how to handle mistakes and hurt feelings by communicating with your partner about them.

5. Leave the past where it belongs

When you first meet someone, you have a shining image of them in your mind. It’s tempting to expect that image to remain unchanged forever. But the truth is that people grow and change over time. Be willing to accept that your partner will grow and change and become a different person than they were when you first met them.

If they decide to continue doing something that used to bother you, don’t hold it against them. Instead, focus on how far they’ve come. For example, if they used to be lazy and didn’t put in any effort at all but now they work hard and are a completely different person, it’s important to bring this to their attention. Remember that you’re both human beings, and you will change over time.

6. Respect your partner’s privacy

One of the most important aspects of any relationship is respect. This includes respecting your partner’s privacy, even if you live together. Just because you live together doesn’t mean that you have the right to snoop through their things or read their emails. This is a violation of their trust, and it will only lead to problems down the road.

If you need to ask your partner about something, do so in a respectful way. For example, if you’re wondering why they’ve been spending so much time on the computer, you could say something like, “I noticed that you’ve been spending a lot of time on the computer lately. Is everything okay?” By respectfully approaching the subject, you’re more likely to get an honest answer from your partner.

7. Seek professional help if necessary

If you’re finding it difficult to adjust to living with your partner, or if you’re constantly arguing, it might be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate the challenges of living together.

When you decide to seek professional help, it’s important to remember that therapy is a process. Working through your issues takes time and effort, but it can be incredibly beneficial for your relationship.

Hopefully, these tips will help your move in with your partner go smoothly. Remember that you’re living together for a reason, and it’s not to cause problems. Focus on learning how to work together and work out any problems as you go along. If you’re determined to have a happy relationship, remember that it starts now. Not when you first meet or when things are perfect, but now. Now is the time of change and growth; now is the time of patience and understanding.