A Guide to Caring for a Loved One with Trauma

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The emotional burden of traumatic events can be debilitating to the point of causing a lifetime of stress and anxiety. It can be painful to watch a loved one go through such pain born out of the trauma they have endured.

If it falls upon you to care for a loved one who is struggling with the most severe effects of trauma, then it matters to know that the experience on your part is far from easy. For the most part, it’s not a simple matter of telling them that they are going to be okay. It requires more than just a reassuring word to help them get through each day.

If you don’t understand the full context of their suffering, then you could end up saying or doing the wrong thing while you help with the best intentions in mind. Here’s a simple guide to help you provide your loved one with the care and comfort they deserve:

1. Know More About Their Condition

It’s easy to forget that trauma can become so complex, and we tend to think that it’s temporary. Reality and modern medical science tell us that the condition is something we mustn’t take lightly, as traumatic experiences have the potential to alter brain chemistry, which usually happens when the mind processes overwhelming negative emotions. The worst way you can “help” your loved one cope is to resort to actions that could worsen their symptoms.

As their primary caregiver, you need to learn as much as you can about the condition so you can avoid making hasty assumptions and make decisions that will only worsen the effects. It helps if you could look up online resources on your loved one’s trauma, whether they’re veterans or victims of domestic abuse while they were younger. Pay attention to how they respond in certain environments and notice habits or gestures that may indicate avoidance or hyperfixation. This will allow you to perform your duties with discernment and authentic concern.

2. Work Closely with Their Therapist

Severe trauma requires professional intervention, especially if it diminishes your loved one’s physical, emotional, and social well-being. As much as you want to take the bulk of the responsibility of caring for them, you still need the guidance of a licensed therapist. Throughout the treatment and intervention process, they will prescribe a set of activities to support your loved one’s recovery as they cope with the symptoms.

Make sure to accompany your loved one during routine checkups and talk to their physician about the progress of their treatment. In addition to that, you may be provided with a set of tools and strategies that allow you to provide sufficient care without burning yourself out. Considering the work you will have to shoulder at home, asking for support from a therapist will help lighten the load and ensure that your loved one is on the right track.

3. Create a United Front

The task shouldn’t be handled by you and your loved one’s therapist alone. Your closest social circle can also provide relief and emotional support, assuring them that they’re not alone in their struggle. It matters to reach out to trusted family members and friends who know the person well enough to provide genuine company. You can also work together in coming up with activities that allow them to process their emotions most healthily. Leaving them alone can make it more likely for your loved one to develop self-destructive habits.

Going beyond your immediate social circles, you can also enlist the help of professionals who can augment their treatment and recovery across every area of your loved one’s life. You can have them take part in small group discussions together with victims of similar traumatic situations. If your loved one is a 9/11 cancer survivor, you can look for local groups of former first responders during that fateful day, many of whom are still reeling from the physical, emotional, and financial toll of the disaster.

4. Keep Well-Being in Check

Throughout their experience with trauma, your loved one could overlook good habits and may not even follow a self-care routine. This is expected,d and it shouldn’t be a cause of frustration on your part. It takes patience as you guide them towards developing a routine that includes a balanced diet and lots of physical activity. Consider doing these activities together and use them as opportunities to talk about how they feel.

As you do so, make sure you’re also well-grounded. Providing care isn’t easy, especially if you’re dealing with a loved one who is initially uncooperative. It can be frustrating to get them to follow a routine, but the process shouldn’t cause you to lose sight of your need for self-care. You may have to rely on your existing support system to provide you with some measure of relief and guidance so you won’t have to experience the effects of fatigue.

Endnote

Trauma can affect even the best of us, so your loved one should get all the love and care they deserve to live fruitfully.